Monday, 21 August 2017

When You`re a Gardener And a Sisters Fan

I hear the roar of a big machine
Two pulleys, belt in between
Hot metal and it’s slipped again

Lawnmower down.
Just in case there was ever any doubt I live in a surreal world 

Monday, 14 August 2017

Trying To Make Chris An Apprentice, Didn`T Go Well.



It said on BBC Radio 2, that women who are 62 who cannot yet get their state pension till they are 66 were been told by the job centres to apply for an apprenticeship. My wife is in the band so I wondered if I could make her an apprentice in my company I though there were government grants available.
I Googled apprentices, A long list came up, I can usually understand legal documents and forms, but I am sure that they (The Government) are trying to blind us with science, or just confuse us in the hope we give up. Eventually I found an application form to use apprentices, filled it in and emailed it.
When the people at National Apprentice Service rang me, they were NOT impressed that I was `just looking` for a loop hole to get some money out of the government in lieu of her state pension, which she should have had at sixty!

So that didn`t go well.

Still it was fun to try and take on the system again.
And a good excuse to play this


Friday, 4 August 2017

Drain Exploded


Got to a client’s and found a drain had exploded the day before with all the rain, and lifted off the cover.
It was only surface water which runs into the stream at the bottom of the garden and was running clear when I looked down. The gentleman was away and when his wife had rung him, he said App`y is there tomorrow.

So guess who had to clear it up?

Friday, 21 July 2017

Waited For The Right Time, Place And People.

As I head ever-closer to retirement, I remember at school (Yes 40-odd years ago) a Games teacher said to me “Come out of your shell and join in” … That didn’t  work, but after leaving school I discovered alcohol and Punk Rock, which did. Fast forward to now, I am ‘Post Punk, Post Mortgage and having the best time of my life, whilst I am still Pre Alzheimer’s and Pre Arthritis. That’s why you’ll see me at the front.
(Pic from Gary, taken at a Rhombus gig)

So UP YOURS Mr McLeod !!!!

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Not Me, For Once


Working today and I noticed a blue car go into a drive up the road, three women got out, two started getting vacuums and dusters out of the back while the driver went to unlock the house door. Nothing wrong there, they were the cleaners. Then the house alarm went off. Again nothing out of the ordinary there, done it myself, but it went on and on. I put my ear protectors on. Next, they put their gear back in the car and all three women got in, drove to the next house and went in. A bit later, a neighbour came out and asked me what had happened, I told the above, she decided to go see them, when she came back they confirmed that they had gone to the wrong house, but their key HAD opened the door, they put the code they had been given for the alarm but of course it did not work, rung their client who told them they were in the wrong house. 
The most worrying thing was that the same key fit and opened two house doors next to each over!
Here`s a pic of a lock full of stones, I couldn`t open and had to take the faceplate off to empty.

As I said glad it was not me, for once.

Tuesday, 11 July 2017

The Day Of The Goths, Leeds

Saturday was the start of Goth City Festival 2017, with a fund raiser event made up of local(ish) bands entitled The Day Of The Goths.

The Black Riders Cult
The room was dark, hot and, well damp, so I guess had a real sense of the `Batcave` to it. Outside there was a beer garden ideal for cooling off between bands and to be able to talk and hear people.

Jan Doyle Band. (Not my pic)
If I started to wax on about how amazing the night was, I just couldn`t do it justice. It`s impossible to put into words just what happens when `We` get together.

The Lost Souls
So here are some snaps I took of the bands though the smoke.
Dawn of Elysium
Many thanks to all the bands, DJs, stage & sound crew and everyone who helped make this a truly magical evening
Quasimodo
Especially Joel, who not `only` promoted / run the whole event, played in Quasimodo and DJed into the small hours. “Cheers pal”
Zeitgeist Zero


Tuesday, 6 June 2017

If Only The Whole World Could Work Like This.


On Saturday night, I went to see three great bands, at my regular Goth Club.

Sunday,

I received a `Friends request` from the lead singer of the headline band.

I accepted.

Monday,

I received an invite to like his `Band page`

I accepted, and sent him an invite to like my `Works page`

He accepted, AND then shared it on his timeline with a lovely recommendation for me!

If only the whole world could work like this.

Thursday, 4 May 2017

Spear of Destiny + Rhombus + 1919 at the Brudenell Club Leeds

Some pics from last Tuesday`s gig.
1919
You can tell for which band I made sure I was at the front for
Rhombus

Spear of Destiny

And the (Unknown) Soundman

Sunday, 30 April 2017

Date Night

With Chris been away on our actual wedding anniversary we decided to go out for a meal last night a bit like a Date Night.
Finally we found somewhere.  Pic from Google
There is a new(ish) Italian restaurant opened just up the road from our house and so despite Chris not liking Pasta, Pizza or cheese, we thought we`d try it. However it was fully booked.

Finally we found somewhere.  Pic from Google

So we walked the whole length of the High street stopping at all the pubs and eating houses and saying “You won`t like that” or “I don`t like that” till we reached the last pub and went in anyway. Part of a `chain` it was another `cooking by numbers` type place but the food wasn`t too bad. It was half full with a mix of `lonely old men` and a few dubious rough looking types. Not a place to relax and enjoy yourself! We ate and left, a nice walk home but not what I`d planned.

Tuesday, 18 April 2017

'Trip Advisor review


Somehow I doubt if this is true,but worth sharing anyway.
Not my pic.

'Trip Advisor review: Deserted Cabin, Tennessee – 1 night's stay 31/10/1981
(ashboomstick81)

Having booked in for an overnight stay we were appalled by the lack of facilities waiting for us – no TV or radio or other basic entertainments, and only one book which turned out to be this gross orange thing written in some foreign language or something. Plus some crazy dude had already read the book and left a tape there for us of him reading it! Also, terrible neighbourhood as immediately after we played the tape the cabin was attacked by strange people dressed as demons! We fled through the forest only to be set upon by a bunch of rednecks hiding in the forest who tried to make out that the 'trees' were attacking us. All in all the worst place we've ever stayed in. Great views though. (1 out of 5).'

Wednesday, 12 April 2017

Monday, 10 April 2017

Why You Should Have A Plan.

You go to the trouble of having decking built around a tree.

Then get the tree cut down!

(2 doors down from one of my clients)

Saturday, 1 April 2017

Warner Bros. Harry Potter Studio Tour Visit 14-02-17

“Never write anything on line when, drunk, tired or angry” (That`s why I waited 6 weeks to write this)
At the Harry Potter Studio.
This had been on my to-do list for ages, so whilst we were `down south` babysitting our grandchildren for half term, on a `free day` we went.
All I can say is that I was Disappointed

At the Harry Potter Studio.
It did what it said on the tin. A tour of a film studio, sharing behind the scenes, props and setting of the Harry Potter films in a cold, clinical way with no love, passion or feeling. If you, like me were hoping for magic, forget it. Instead go to your local Goth Club on an average night.

At the Harry Potter Studio.
Here are some pictures I took.

At the Harry Potter Studio.

At the Harry Potter Studio.

At the Harry Potter Studio.

At the Harry Potter Studio.

Me At the Harry Potter Studio.

At the Harry Potter Studio.

Saturday, 18 March 2017

So far this year ....

I have sacked;
B.T.
Utility Warehouse.
Half of British Gas Insurance.
Aviva.
And one client.
I will soon see Rome Burns

https://www.facebook.com/events/1761316424106701/

Wednesday, 8 March 2017

Funeral Wishes 2. Over This Land.


Because the likelihood of been able to have a Viking longboat funeral at Whitby is less then nil, I have a plan `B`
Ribblehead Viaduct
One of my favourite parts of the Yorkshire Dales is Ribblehead and the famous Settle to Carlisle railway viaduct there, so I would now like my ashes scattering from off it, whilst The Mission`s record Wasteland is been played.

This has already been mentioned to a DJ friend of mine who said he was up for playing the music, all I need now is someone to do the scattering, oh and stop the train! I think it is a £200 fine if you pull the cord to make an unauthorised stop, so I thought that I might as well ask if I could get permission no doubt at a cost.
Ribblehead Viaduct and Me.
I emailed Northern Rail, the train company that runs that line. Thus;

Dear Northern Rail

Please could you tell me what it would cost to legally stop a train for about 5 minutes on the Ribblehead Viaduct to facilitate the scattering of my ashes?

P.S. I am not planning on dyeing anytime soon.

Thank you.

Alastair




Hi Alastair, unfortunately this is not a service we can offer. We also cannot authorise the scattering of ashes on the train tracks as we do not own them, this is the remit of @networkrail May I ask, does it need to be the Ribblehead Viaduct, or is it a train line in general? The reason I ask is I know the heritage railways, which are private train tracks sometime offer this service on their lines, so it may be worth contacting them? I hope this helps

Ribblehead Viaduct
So it will have to be done illegally then!
Many older Punks will remember when The Sex Pistols were arrested for playing God Save The Queen on a boat on the River Thames in 1977 on the Queen`s Silver Jubilee. That can never be repeated, but getting arrested for stopping a train to spread a mates ashes must come close? Any volunteers

Been stalked


Been stalked, may be the highest form of flattery, like been guillotined is the sexiest way of dearth, but it still has its drawbacks.

Monday, 6 March 2017

New Day, New Skip.


Back at work and still on a high from Saturday night. (I will post about that, I`m getting out of order a bit)
  This is what I`ve cut down so far last week. Now the skip has come and it`s a 14 cubic yarder!

 Will it go in? Yes.


New skip ordered for next week.  Onwards….

Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Blogger Stats


Has anyone else noticed that their stats have gone mad scene the beginning of December?

Like ten times the number of views to what they were normally before?

Wednesday, 8 February 2017

And What Did You Say Goth Was?

Once a television motoring presenter, who was pretending to be on a camp site asked a couple of pensioners, who most likely didn`t know who he was, “What do people do on a caravanning holiday?” unfortunately their best, or only recorded answer was “We drink a lot of tea”
My last ‘van
A few weeks later, the Car Valet at one of my client`s asked me the same question, But, and maybe because I`m a) younger, b) quicker, and c) more used to people asking silly questions, I quickly replied “I don`t consider there been such a thing as a `caravanning` holiday, I have holidays in my caravan, and you can do anything that you would do on holiday if you stayed in a hotel, apartment or whatever, but you know that the toilet is clean and you won`t get bedbugs!” I also went on to add “I`ve used it to visit my grandchildren, and I`ve gone to Whitby Goth Weekend in my Caravan”

“And What Did You Say Goth Was?”…………………

 Oh Shi !!

Pic from Google

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

Visit to Grassington

As part of our weekend away we had a trip to the Dale`s village of Grassington.
Grassington Congregational Church
It had been quite a while since the last time we were there, and nothing much seems to have changed.
Grassington Congregational Church
We did find Grassington Congregational Church and it`s nice little cemetery hidden away at the top of the village.
In Grassington
According to Wikipedia the village dates back to the 11th century and as a population of about 1,100.
In Grassington, sorry about the bins.
Grassington as many interesting buildings and little alley ways, but with it been a wet day I didn`t take to many photos
In Grassington

In Grassington

In Grassington, sorry about the car.

When You`re a Gardener And a Sisters Fan

I hear the roar of a big machine Two pulleys, belt in between Hot metal and it’s slipped again Lawnmower down. Just in cas...